Rahul, My Story

1600 hrs

Raining pretty heavily in Kondapur. Going by bus or MMTS will be pain in this weather. AC compartment + drenched clothes is a very bad combination.

1620 hrs

Stopped raining in Kondapur, only to start again in Gachibowli. PG is stuck now. What other options do we have? A cab perhaps?

1630 hrs

Welcome to Radio Cabs. Please hold the line while we connect you to one of our executives and get you bored to death with our music. You are the 77th person in the queue.

No thank you very much! What the heck are the other 70 odd customers doing waiting in such a long queue?

1635 hrs

Welcome to Dot Cabs. Please hold the line while we connect you to one of our executives and get you bored to death with our music. Hello and welcome to Dot Cabs. How may I assist you?

Hi, I need a cab from…

No.

Sorry?

No. No cab.

But I need it from Gachibowli to Secunderabad by…

No. No cab till 8. Anything else?

Yes, frock you.

1650 hrs

Welcome to Orange Cabs. We suck too much to afford a call center. So no music for you! Anyway, how may I help you?

I need a cab from Gachibowli to Secunderabad at 5:30.

No cab till 6 Sir.

Fine, 6 it is.

1800 hrs

So what is the plan now? Are we still stopping by Nanking?

Of course! Why do you think I came on a month’s leave to India?

Fine dude.

1820 hrs

Stuck at Punjagutta. Will we make it to Nanking?

1900 hrs

Stuck at the Paradise junction.

Don’t worry man. The soup will take 5 minutes. Starters and main course, 10 minutes. We will be out of Nanking in 30 minutes and in the station 10 minutes before the train leaves.

1915 hrs

Ordered the soups, starters and the main courses.

Waiter, we are really short of time. Please, PLEASE, hurry up!

1930 hrs

DUDE, WHERE THE FROCK IS OUR SOUP! We should have finished our starters by now!

1935 hrs

Soups finally arrive. One bowl of soup at Nanking puts you on Cloud 9.

1940 hrs

Starters arrive. Still enjoying the soup. Dude, we should be leaving in 5 minutes!

1945 hrs

Main course arrives.

Starters not done yet.

We will get them packed!

1947 hrs

So what do you think will happen if we miss the train? Are we so screwed up that we are actually contemplating the idea of missing the train for Nanking?

My parents are going to kill me.

1948 hrs

The noodles are just delicious. And so is the sauce and chicken pakoda. Is there time to have another bowl of soup? Still deciding whether to miss the train for Nanking. We could probably take a bus to Vizag.

1951 hrs

We have just 4 minutes to stuff ourselves with these dishes. Eat whatever you can. Hurry!

1955 hrs

Got into an auto.

Bhaiyya, station – quick – 25 bucks. Please start.

1958 hrs

Ravi calls.

Rahul and I are on the way to the station and we have 15 minutes to catch Garib Rath Express. Remember the time you and I sprinted to the station after eating at Nanking? I think we have to do it again. Stay on the line and be part this history in the making!

Dude, did you mean you have done this before?

Yes, with Ravi and Pappa, on separate occasions.

So you knew we would have to run?

Only in the worst case, don’t worry!

AREYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

2000 hrs

Wow, Sunday night and the clock tower junction is empty! Guess we don’t have to chase the train afterall.

2002 hrs -

Wrong! Stuck outside the station.

This is it. RUN!

2003 hrs

Outside the main entrance. OMG, the train is on the last platform.

2004 hrs

Huff puff… Out of shape. Should do some cardio regularly.

2005 hrs

Landed on Platform 10. Compartment G14 in sight. With 600 seconds to spare!

600 seconds later…

2015 hrs

Train still on platform.

another 600 seconds later…

2025 hrs

Train still on platform.

Finally…

2030 hrs

The train starts.

Hyderabadi Heat and Darwin’s Theory of Evolution

Aaryan, May 27, 2010, 05.45pm IST

HYDERABAD: With temperatures soaring sky high and breaking all existing records (don’t we get that every year?), Hyderabadi men and the future of mankind are facing a new kind of threat. Testicular Hyperpyrexia, which means impotence due to exposure of testicles to high temperatures, is the buzz word on every doctor’s tongue. Last week alone, about 400 men were admitted into Carefree Hospital after not being able to get the job done. Doctors predict that Testicular Hyperpyrexia will soon overtake the summer killer, Prickly Heat.

Gali Mama (name changed), 25, who quit smoking to avoid impotence, parked his bike outside Hyderabad House in Madhapur for a 45 minute lunch break.  The bike seat burned his testicles to the 2nd degree and making him, well, useless. “WTF! Who will marry me now? I might as well join Bobby Darling with my dost, Wills Classic,” the MBA graduate said. Similar incidents have been reported all over Hyderabad.

Mr. Hawkins, the famous evolutionary biologist, recently gave the following statement, “This is just the beginning of a new phase in the evolution of man. Male reproductive organs, testes, work best at temperatures slightly less than core body temperature. This is probably why the testes are located outside the body. High school Biology lesson right? Now what happens when the temperature around you is 10-15 degrees more than your core body temperature? Your little swimmers boil to death! Nothing to worry about though, nature is not that cruel. Adaptation is the evolutionary process whereby an organism becomes better able to live in its habitat. In order to survive, we all will eventually adapt which means – yes, our balls are going in. Yours, mine and every guy’s on this planet in the future. Scary but true!”

Scary indeed. Impossible to imagine.

On the other hand, some religions believe that the judgment day has finally come. Al-iz-Well, formerly Al-Qayamat, released another video of Obama Sin Laden, as a proof that he is alive and doing well, commenting on this issue, “This is God’s way of punishing the Amreekans by taking away the beautiful gift of making children.” The States government is yet to comment on the authenticity of the video.

With their plumbings concealed, men will no longer be vulnerable to the existing anti-rape kicks, punches or bites. Martial Arts groups are already devising new ways of self defense against rapists and other trouble makers. “I am just glad we will finally do away with guards. Its just too uncomfortable to run man!” an IPL cricketer added. You would be lucky if cricket survived long enough to witness this change!

Companies have already annouced a line of new products to help men slow down the inevitable damage. iPAD in the economy range and TGIF (Thank God It’s Freezing) in the premium range will be released by IntimateClothing into the market by the end of this quarter.

Finally I get some time to sketch this idea that sparked up in a conversation with Naveen.

Oh you have already seen a version of this somewhere before? DILLIGAF?

@harithski thanks mate